Trost
by sombertime.sadness
Summary: Right now, Edward is learning the hard way that liquor is cheaper than therapy. EdxAURoy and EdxRoy.


**Trost**

Trost definition, Noun - A fundamental feeling that is hard to define, but people desire to feel it.

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**Setting**

Year 1925

Edward Elric 26 years old.

Hallstatt, Austria, East of Munich.

Does not take place during Shamballa, this is a different time line nowhere associated with the movie.

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_'Edward I really suggest you go speak with him, he is an amazing psychologist. Your night terrors are getting worse, and since I won't be around during work I really want you to have someone to talk too._

_I trust him, when I found out I was ill I found comfort in speaking with him freely, good with words I guess he is._

_And who knows you may make a friend besides me, you need them, I wont be around forever...' _

_-Alfons._

He scoffed as he looked down at the neatly written note. So, this worlds Al will be busy huh? Living in this small village called Hallstatt, he of course moved for Al, with his lungs cleaner air outside of the large city would do him well. A small village along a river, with a larger central area...weird it kind of reminded him of a grassier and damper version of Rush valley.

His feet crunched in the snow as the sun set on this cold November evening. His body was clad in dark brown slacks, white button up shirt that snug his body to try and keep some warmth in, but his automail wasn't helping at all. Cold steel against flesh in November was not the brightest of times to be out. Eyes were a a dull ember, no longer the bright fire he had before. Not before these night terrors.

Terrors that were stealing his precious sleep, but it got him thinking. Was it possible, that the only reason he got sleep was for Alphonse? The way Al's lost body soaked up everything Ed was doing when they linked minds? He shook his head as golden bangs fell in front of his face. His sleep vanished the moment he knew Alphonse was okay in his own body.

The nights grew long, waking up in agony, the haunting memories of those he hurt , those he saw die, and his close friend...the one he understood go blind with vengeance. Their screams filled his minds, the guilt was catching up to him like a bad omen. No rest for the wicked and scorned.

Shaking his head he walked down the stone path as freshly fallen snow covered his tracks as if he was a ghost among the living.

"Okay...a big brown building near the end of village close to the bridge" Ed stopped walking as his hand easily slipped the piece of paper in his pocket, head tilted up seeing the building. Well kept, a few potted plants, it kind of looked like a bed and breakfast. Maybe psychs liked keeping it a little too homy...oh well.

"Damn Alfons...I promised him one session and I can't deny that face...the same as my brothers..." He said with sorrow in his voice, plus he knew deep down his Alphonse would want this too. Gulping don his distaste, he never really trusted doctors. Reaching out he gripped the door knob and walked inside immediately feeling the rush of warm air hitting his body. He was immediately caught off guard by a scruffy looked man, kind of round like a boulder in the stomach walking away with his wife in tow. But she looked more than pleased, blush on her pale features as she giggled.

"Damned Matvos...like I'll ever come back here again!" A slam on the door left Ed stunned, was he really in the right place? Just then the woman working behind the desk with a rather tight nearly folded blonde bun atop her head frowned as she scurried out the door in a panic rambling on about apologizing for her boss, or how he really is the best one in the village.

"More like only one" he grumbled as he found a seat in the plush waiting room, strange the decor...it reminded him of someone. Very neat, warm colors, arranged in a boxed like fashion. Deep red sofas warm fireplace accompanied by sage greens here and there. The ticking of the clock annoyed him to no end, he was about to get up and walk out of here, until some books caught his eye. Standing up he walked over and ran his white gloved hands over the shelves of books surrounding the fire place.

Grabbing an old book at random he flipped through the pages, reading a fairy tale just for amusement. He was nose deep just flipping through pages he didn't hear the long strides coming down the stairs and veering the corner. The man was standing there for a good few minutes before walking up behind Edward.

"The Brothers Grimm? Interesting choice, classic fables to wrap young kids minds around" The voice said and Edward just figured it was another patient trying to make. Edward chuckled as he closed the book and slid it back into the spot where he found it.

"More like a load of crock, a story about a girl who gave away her only belongings and suddenly becomes rich over night?" Edward closed his eyes thinking how he sacrificed everything and gained nothing in return but hardships. "Wishful thinking" Edward mumbled. Slowly he raised the flesh arm and moved passed the man who was speaking with him without even looking up.

"I gotta go, seems the receptionist took a walk...you can have my slot" Ed yawned as he headed back towards the front door.

The man smirked slightly amused as he strode over walking behind the desk and picked up a piece of paper. "Mr. Elric is it? I'm scheduled to speak with at 7pm, we can start early if you like" However Ed stopped in his tracks as the hanging bell chimed above him. Slowly he turned around, golden eyes laying upon the supposed psychiatrist. "Alfons told me you were coming and to make sure you didn't run off" The man fitted the black slacks rather well, a navy blue button up shirt with a black blazer, his skin was porcelain, eyes as dark as coals and hair to match.

Edward stared in shock, this man...was he? _His_ reflection.

"Sorry I never introduced myself earlier, but I'm sure you heard that man boasting out of here, I'm Matvos, Dr. Roy Matvos" Edward gulped and his hand let go of the door letting it close shut on its own keeping the warmth inside the building. In this world, of all professions, Roy Mustangs reflection, Dr. Roy Matvos...was a psychologist. He was going to kill Alfons when he got back home.

_'Of course Al would say he was good with words...this was his reflection after all, but he wouldn't know'_ Ed sighed and just nodded his head. "Well I came all this way, I won't take up too much of your time doc" Roy raised an eyebrow as Ed grumbled up the wooden rickety stairs. Boy was he going to be an amusing patient to deal with. Up the stairs and into the only open room Ed walked in and looked around. Seeing the elongated chair, how typical for a shrink he decided that was his spot. Sitting down he raised his legs and leaned back in the pearl colored seat, his eyes refusing to lay upon that man, he didn't feel like being tricked.

Roy walked over and sat down in his brown chair examining Ed's body language.

"You haven't looked at me directly since you arrived. A reason?" Roy asked as he clicked his pen and bringing out the notepad.

"That's your big pitch to get me to talk...try again" Ed said rather stubbornly.

"Am I offensive?"

"No"

"Am I unattractive?"

Ed nearly coughed as he rolled onto his side running his finger long the neatly sewed buttons. "I'm sure that woman you swooned would be happy to answer that question"

Roy just fixed his collar and just flipped the page he had been writing on. Ed however noticed. "Have you written that much already?" Ed asked as he sat up sitting directly facing the new Roy, but not at his face, more like his hands.

"Quite, your body language shows your guarded, avoiding eye contact means your frightened, and being defensive means your protecting something...no more like hiding, tone of voice I'm hinting...irritation?" Roy smirked to himself a bit. Ed glared up finally meeting those coal eyes. Ed remained silent.

"Don't talk about me as if you know me, you know nothing. You just pick brains for a living, shrinks don't attach they are glorified interrogators" Ed said as he laid back down with his hands behind his head. But this Roy hit the nail on the head.

"Alfons warned me about you, your stubbornness. I came prepared. I knew you would be a challenge. So how about you go first. Ask me anything" Ed raised an eyebrow opening one eyes glancing at the notebook seeing that he set it back down on his cedar desk. Odd how two separate beings would be so alike.

"How do you know Alfons?" Ed asked simply.

"Alfons Heidrich? I met him I believe it was two years ago during a carnival. He was hiding behind a tent coughing up blood" And this Roy also didn't sugar coat things either. "I heard him and offered assistance, Got him going, back on his two feet and we just kept in contact since. He is a strong man who knows what needs to be done. He has come to me for advice in the past." Ed nodded his head, seems like Al would make friends everywhere he went. "You're lucky to have him as a friend Edward" Roy said simply.

"My turn is it not? Question for a question. It can be a simple answer...why can't you look my way? Even though you faced me, your gaze was down" Roy said.

"You...look a lot like someone, a person I respected and got close to years ago, its hard. Because I haven't seen him in at least 8 years" Ed admitted, little did Roy know that he just used a principal Edward followed. A question for a question, equivalent exchange.

"And by looking like this man I am bringing up memories...tell me Ed, what are these, night terrors about?" Ed rolled his eyes as he kept them closed.

"Al is overreacting, I have one nightmare and he freaks out. People have them simple as that"

"He tells me it's every night, you wake up thrashing and once he had to pour cold water on you? Is that correct?" Ed blushed in embarrassment remembering how he had to hang dry his sheets in the dead of night, getting weird looks from neighbors thinking he was a crazed bed sheet hooligan. Roy stood up and walked over to where he kept his extra glasses and pulling out a bottle of brandy.

"Like I said, a nightmare" Ed mumbled.

"There are differences between nightmares and night terrors Edward. Nightmares are visions of what people fear that really have no correlation in their lives as of yet. They happen in a deep sleep with REM or rapid eye movement. Happens when someone is under a lot of stress or is anxious" Roy said as he took a sip of his brandy. "However night terrors occur with non rapid eye movement and when that said person is partially awake. People don't usually remember what goes on in a night terror. Often times non responsive to people around them. Hence why Al had to pour cold water on your to snap you out of it"

Ed remained silent as he listened to that definition.

"Do you remember anything you do or say during one of these terrors" Once again Ed remained silent. Until he pointed to the brandy.

"Pour me one, ice please" Roy complied as he grabbed another glass and handed it to Ed. "Do you often drink on the job?" He asked wondering how similar the two Roys' were.

"Only when things become tough" He smirked leaning back in his brown leather chair.

"I don't remember. Al just tells me little things, but I know he is hiding what I really do. So I really cannot answer that one" Ed simply said as he sipped his drink. Roy had no reason to not believe him. Roy was about to speak up when the clock had struck 8pm and their time had ended. Ed wasted no time in getting up and fixed his coat. Looking down at the glass he just chugged what he had left.

"Well thanks Doc. I feel a million times better, a real miracle worker. I guess you can tell Al I am all cured!" Ed said rather boastfully as headed to walk out.

"Hold on a minute Ed. I'll walk you out, you were my last one. Might as well show you home" Ed blinked and just shrugged. "What ever helps you sleep at night doc" He said not calling him by his first name either. Roy grabbed his notepad and keys as he walked out of his office, it seemed the secretary already left for the night, she never waist for him anyways.

"You don't have to walk me home, I am a groan man" Ed said as he stepped out into the cold winter night as snow lightly trickled down to the earth. Roy ignored his complaint as he finished writing something down.

"I'll give you peace to walk home, but I would like to see you again maybe in a few days to get your mind around it" Roy didn't wait for an answer as he slipped a piece of paper in his hand acting like he was shaking Ed's hand. Freeing his hand from the grip he pushed his hair back as he slipped on a hat. Ed glanced down at the piece of paper reading the numbers scribbled down on it.

"It's just an emergency line, if anything happens I promised Al I would give this to him. I was a little skeptical, but I think you can decide whether to give it to him or not. Use it wisely" And with those words Ed just stood there in the cold winter hair and just watched until this words Roy was out of sight. He sighed and glanced down at the paper before sticking it back in his pocket.

"Of all people Alfons sends me too...it's his counterpart" Ed turned on his heels as he walked the opposite way of Roy heading home with a decision in his mind whether or not to go back for another session.

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Should Ed go back for another session with Dr. Roy Matvos? I think so. And I apologize for any grammatical errors, I am uploading this at 2 am. Hehe bed calls me, I should answer that.


End file.
